Navigating the digital world with your child

Navigating the digital world with your child

Contents

Introduction

2 3 4 4 5 6 6 6 7 7 8 8 8 8 8 8

The importance of coexisting

‘Put the phone down’

Managing the time spent on devices

Tips for balancing screen time

Parent Guidance for setting up Tik Tok Parental Controls

The ‘For You’ Feed Tik Tok Family Pairing

Keeping your child safe on Tik Tok

Reporting concerns

Parent Guidance for setting up YouTube Parental Controls

Having a Supervised Account with your child

Update content settings

Reduce the amount of time your child spends on YouTube

Monitoring your child’s YouTube activity Restricted Mode filters out mature content

Parent Guidance for setting upWhatsApp Parental Controls

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Parent Guidance for setting up Snapchat Parental Controls

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AI Advice for Parents

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Sources used

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Introduction

Author Douglas Adams wrote these words in 1999 at the dawn of the internet era in response to perceived worries and concern about the internet:

“I suppose earlier generations had to sit through all this huffing and puffing with the invention of the television, the phone, radio, cinema, the car, the bicycle, printing, the wheel and so on, but you would think we would learn the way these things work, which is this:

Everything that’s already in the world when you’re born is just normal.

Anything that gets invented between then and before you can turn thirty is incredibly exciting and creative and with any luck you can make a career out of it.

Anything that gets invented after you’re thirty is against the natural order of things”.

Apply this list to movies, rock music, word processors and mobile phones to work out how old you are… You would not open your front door and send your child out into the world, stating, “off you go; you can go wherever you like, with whomever you like, be out as long as you like, and you don't need to tell me where you have been, who you have been with, or what you have been doing”. But many of us are doing just that when we give our children access to phones and devices. Your child at this point holds the world in their hands and we can seem not to care. Pupils tell us, ‘my parents don’t have a clue what I do online.’ You need to, and the fact that you are reading this guide is a really positive step in the right direction. Our Digital Resilience Committee has contributed much to this guide- a group of pupils from Senior 7 to VI Formwho willingly provide us with an insight into their online lives. Much has been learnt from our discussions with them and we hope that their insight will prove invaluable to you.

The importance of coexisting At Ibstock Place, our pupils learn to look after their wellbeing. One important aspect of wellbeing is digital wellbeing. Part of being comfortable with technology is knowing the time and place for these tools and using them correctly and safely. Social media apps can sometimes feel confusing or potentially worrying for many parents, but with the right know-how parents may be able to empower themselves to help their child navigate them successfully. As children begin to develop their own identity, it’s normal for them to rely more on interactions with their peers in person and online. This is a vital stage of development for children’s minds and helps them prepare for the adult world. It can be a worrying time for parents as children become more independent, especially when they start to explore and experiment with the online world, a world that some of us aren’t as familiar with as we would like to be. We know it has become normal for our pupils to spend a huge amount of time connecting and conversing online and adults need as much information as possible to enable a supportive and safe environment to be created for them. This guide will show you the available features for the most commonly used apps amongst teens, which we hope will improve your knowledge and give you the confidence to coexist in your child’s online life. Your child will face all kinds of challenges as they mature, but you can give them the tools to stay safe and make informed decisions online. You may be using the same apps or platforms as your child, but they may well be using them in different ways and for different reasons. For parents, concerns about potential risks to your child’s well-being and safety, both online and off, are never far away.

It is important for all parents to understand that social media is designed to attract as much of your child’s time and attention as possible.

Parents have a crucial role to play here in encouraging open and honest conversations with their children about what they get up to online. A good starting point might be some of the questions below:

•

What do you do online?

• What are you currently spending most of your time on? • What would you like to be doing more of, or what makes you feel good or not so good? By coexisting in your child’s online life, it’ll be much easier for you to talk to them about all the steps they can take to have safe and positive experiences online. Knowing that you will be there if things don’t go according to plan will also help ensure that your child feels able to talk to you if they’ve seen or experienced something online that makes them feel uncomfortable.

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‘Put the Phone Down’ Studies around appropriate screen time (the number of hours we spend using mobile devices) have been inconclusive about the consequences. However, it is being increasingly reported through studies and anecdotal evidence that many children and young people have disturbed sleep due to mobile devices and experience FOMO (the fear of missing out). Whether it’s good or bad, they want to knowwhat is being discussed in their peer group and worry that if they aren’t always available on the app/game they may be missing something important. It’s vital that children and young people feel able to disconnect safely before bedtime, and you can help with this by keeping phones downstairs at bedtimes and setting rules around terms of use. Be prepared, you may get some resistance at first from your child regarding this but holding a boundary will help your child feel safe.

Discuss some simple rules such as

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No technology: In bedrooms

At family times At mealtimes

• All technology charged downstairs at night.

This will be hugely beneficial for your child’s wellbeing and the family dynamic. The hard part is ensuring that you show you are a role model of good practice in the use of technology. Managing the Time Spent on devices When it comes to spending time on devices, it is important to have open communications with your child and come to an agreement about what is an appropriate amount of time on the platforms/games each day or each week. There seems to be a clear link between the amount of time a child spends online and their exposure to upset, risk and issues related to wellbeing. Howmuch time a child spends on screens is important, but so is what are they doing whilst connected. In support of parents managing the challenge of screen time, the Royal College of Paediatrics and Child Health have developed five key questions to use as a guide to look at their screen time:

• Is screen time in your household controlled? • Does screen time interfere with what your family wants to do? • Is screen time causing conflict between you and your child? • Is screen time impacting on your child’s behaviours? • Does screen time interfere with sleep?

Open and non-judgemental conversation is the first step in understanding how and when your child uses devices and for how long. As a parent, it’s also important to model behaviour and adopt your own - it’s always illuminating to ask your children if you are a good digital role model.

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Tips for balancing screen time • Talk about content your family might encounter online. • Create a plan as a family of howmuch screen time is allowed on specific days in the week. • Use parental controls on devices/your internet provider to manage the time connected. Ironically, children might be more accepting if a device automatically switches off rather than being asked to stop. • Enjoy screen-free mealtimes (yes, the whole family). • Avoid screens an hour before bedtime and no devices in bedrooms overnight. In the sections that follow, you are introduced to four of the most popular apps that your child is likely to use. As you would expect, features and settings on Apple and Android applications need constant review and updating. So, this guide focuses on the parental controls that are available, rather than on how to access the specific parental controls, as these are constantly changing.

The specific parental controls for applications can be obtained from the website: www.internetmatters.org

Parent Guidance for setting up Tik Tok Parental Controls

TikTok is a short form video app. When used correctly it can be a place for fun and positive content created by real people around the world.

TikTok’s minimum user age is 13 – and it’s important that your child provides their real date of birth. If your child provides a false date of birth they will be targeted with content which is not age appropriate. Tik Tok do suspend some apps if they believe that the user is under 13 (accounts can be reported as such) although it is worth noting that TikTok was fined 12.7 million pounds by the U.K. in April 2023 by the Information Commissioner's Office (ICO) for using the personal data of children without parental consent and other violations of data protection mandates. How Tik Tok decides what your child will see and be exposed to on its platform The Tik Tok algorithm has a ‘For You’ feed. The algorithmwill drop things into this feed account. These are not always appropriate for your child to see (particularly if they have lied about their age). If your child pauses as they are scrolling or like the account, the algorithmwill now push more of the same content into your child’s account feeds thus creating an echo chamber of what your child will see and be exposed to. It’s worth checking the ‘For You’ feed regularly as it will give you a real sense of what your child has been engaging with. There is a delicate balance between privacy and secrecy. Young people can consume content compulsively and they might not realise it is harmful! It is normal for parents to sit in their living rooms and know exactly where their child is – upstairs in their bedrooms – but have absolutely no idea who they are with online, what content they are consuming and what effect that might have on them. For further insight here, it’s worth watching ‘Capture, who’s looking after the children’. A 14-minute film starring JodieWhittaker (Dr Who) and Paul Ready (Motherland) which looks at online harm, regulation and parental responsibility. You can find it on YouTube. Tik Tok Family Pairing Tik Tok does provide meaningful ways to set guidelines with your children- it is just a bit of a hunt to find them! The Family Pairing features let parents link their TikTok account to their child’s account to enable a variety of content, privacy, and wellbeing settings. If your child is on Tik Tok we would encourage you to join and discuss the Family Pairing features with your child, It is important that you talk to your child about what they are seeing on their feeds, what they are interested in and what their feed is providing them.

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explaining why you want to use them. Even without Family Pairing enabled, you can help your child by enabling the app’s Screen Time offerings, including Daily Screen Time and Restricted Mode, which are protected by a passcode set by the parent or guardian. Word of warning: it is quite possible that your child has multiple accounts. Keeping your Child Safe on Tik Tok You can find the privacy and safety settings in the “privacy and settings ” section on the TikTok app. By enabling the Digital Wellbeing Features on Tik Tok you can control the time your child spends on the app and limit the appearance of content that may not be appropriate for them. Reporting concerns about what your child is seeing and experiencing on Tik Tok If your child encounters content that seems inappropriate, such as abuse, spam, or anything else that violates the community code, it is important that you and your child report it.

Parent Guidance for setting up YouTube Parental Controls

YouTube is considered a search engine, video-sharing platform, and social media platform all-in-one. It has a lot of features that support each type of content. When used safely and responsibly, YouTube provides children a wealth of opportunities to learn, stay entertained, create and play. However, with so much content available, how do you find the correct channels and videos? How do you ensure your child is safe while watching them? It’s important to have a shared family account for YouTube so you can easily track what videos are watched and suggested. YouTube includes settings to promote safety and wellbeing to keep children safe online.

Having a Supervised Account with your child YouTube has a minimum user age of 13. There is ‘YouTube kids’ for children under 13.

A Supervised Account helps children learn key online safety skills in safe online spaces.

Once you set up a Supervised Account for your child, you can customise the settings relevant to your child. As they age, you can change the content settings and more to provide themwith more freedom to explore their online space, helping them practise key online safety skills. If there is no access from your child on this account, there is a fair chance they have another account - do address this with them. Update content settings You can change the content levels to Explore (under-13s), Explore More (13+) or Most of YouTube (almost all content). Reduce the amount of time your child spends on YouTube Under general settings, there are various features that you can disable such as autoplay, watch history and search history. These features reduce howmuch content children are likely towatch. For instance, turning off autoplay helps themmove on after watching one video instead of falling into the habit of watching one video after another. Monitoring your child’s YouTube activity Monitoring your child’s YouTube activity means you gain insight into how they use their time online. You can use this as an opportunity to discuss and learn about their favourite creators. This creates a space of trust and openness while also helping you keep an eye out for any harmful content. Restricted Mode filters out mature content. YouTube’s restricted mode can help filter out mature content that poses potential harm to your child. Setting up restricted mode can help keep children safe online.

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Parent Guidance for setting up WhatsApp Parental Controls

WhatsApp is a popular messaging app. The advised minimum user age is 16+ due to data protection GDPR legislation and the information WhatsApp collects about its users such as phone numbers and information on the device that is using WhatsApp. We know it is an app used by our pupils many years before they turn 16 and it is important to be aware of the potential pitfalls that exist here. Groups can be created which can contain up to 100 users and users can only be added and removed by the person who has created the group or is granted admin rights. From a School perspective we know how easy groups chats can quickly become toxic. Children can use them to exclude and be unkind to one another and individuals ‘spam’ groups with messages at inappropriate times repeatedly posting messages to the group late at night or early morning which leads to disrupted sleep in children and an excessive number of notifications and messages received in the morning! We strongly recommend your child does not set up or get involved in a school whole year group WhatsApp messaging group. If your child is not happy with the conversations going on in a group chat encourage them to leave the group. Talk through with your child about messaging etiquette and the importance of messaging when it is appropriate. It is important that we as adults, model this to them to help them learn. You may also want to consider how easily misinformation can be spread on your group chats. As we find with most messaging apps, WhatsApp can be used to share both positive and negative messages. It can be used by children to spread rumours, threats and images which may cause distress to others. It’s important to remember that all messaging services that allow interaction also give the ability to block an individual. It is worth encouraging your child to screenshot anything they are concerned or upset about and share it with an adult. WhatsApp now includes a location-based service in live location which allows your child to attach a GPS location to a message. It is important to discuss the risks of oversharing this with your child and question why a location should be added to a message for friends or a group rather than sharing it because others in their peer group do.

Parent Guidance for setting up Snapchat Parental Controls

Like many other social networks, the minimum user age for Snapchat is 13 years old. This is because GDPR laws do not allow the collection of children’s data under 1 3.

Most young people use Snapchat to socialise with their friends but there is a risk of them coming across mature content. The four risky areas are:

• The myth of the disappearing message. Your child really needs to understand that the content they share can be saved and shared and never go away. It’s best to have this conversation before they download Snapchat. • The time distraction: Snapchat is fun to use. Snapchat streaks and stories add a time pressure element that make young people feel like they have to check it. • Privacy and Safety. It is easy to add friends on Snapchat and your child can end up with lots of friends you don’t know! Depending on the privacy settings that have been set the app collects lots of data about the user’s habits in and outside of the app. Snapchat works with third parties and they share the data, • My AI – Like Snapchat, My AI is intended for users aged 13 and older. It has safeguards to protect users from dangerous responses but some outputs might include harmful or misleading information. As such, you should talk to your child about the AI element and encourage them to think critically about the content it produces. To keep your child safe, we recommend the following to help you monitor your child’s Snapchat. We strongly advise that you apply parental restrictions in your child’s app. The settings menus are listed below:

• • • • • • •

Chatting

Location Sharing

Sharing Data

Social Networking

Inappropriate content Privacy and Theft identity

Location Sharing

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Snapchat can be accessed through the app and also through a computer web browser. The app offers parental control through Snapchat’s Family Centre that we strongly advise you to set up on your child’s devices. This will give control over who can see your child’s content and who can contact them. There are also ways that your child can report offensive content that they see from other users. Snapchat is a ‘free app,’ but we know nothing in life comes for free- we know that the cost is that your child sells themselves, opens themselves up for advertising. Those who create social networks make money out of knowing all about us, and how do they know all about us? ...because we tell them. Snapchat’s Family Centre helps parents get more insight into who your child is friends with on Snapchat, who they are communicating with, whilst still respecting your child’s privacy. It doesn’t allow you to see the Snaps and messages but it will allow you as a parent to limit your child’s ability to see certain content and will allow you to report to Snapchat any accounts that you may have concern with.

AI Advice for Parents

If your child is already expressing an interest in AI apps, a chat with them should help you to discover howmuch they understand about it and how they’re using them (or planning to). Discuss these options with your child and perhaps do your own research to ensure you think they are suitable. Explore as a family its strengths and weakness and effects AI can have. Talk about its inaccuracies, biases, and stereotypes and whether it is appropriate to get the AI bot to do their homework! Experiment with AI together - a lot of fun can be had when used well.

Sources used

Bright and Quirky Summit: How not to get distracted or hooked by online activities by Nir Eyal June 2023 https://www.internetmatters.org/advice/11-13/ June 2023 https://www.internetmatters.org/resources/whatsapp-safety-a-how-to-guide-for parents/ June 2023 https://www.internetmatters.org/?s=youtube&old=you+tube June 2023 https://www.internetmatters.org/?s=tik+tok June 2023 https://www.internetmatters.org/?s=snapchat&old=snap+chat June 2023 https://www.snapchat.com June 2023 https://support.tiktok.com/en/safety-hc/account-and-user-safety/user-safety June 2023

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Ibstock Place School Clarence Lane Roehampton London SW15 5PY 020 8876 9991 www.ibstockplaceschool.co.uk

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